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Big Day

Lorraine and Tristan, just married 6 October 2023.
Lorraine and Tristan, just married 6 October 2023.

Friday 6th October 2023 was a truly special day for our family – the wedding of our daughter, Lorraine, to Tristan in Horsham Register Office. A short but beautiful and moving ceremony as each made a commitment to the other.

And a wonderful convivial feast afterwards at The Ginger Fox with their many friends and family.

As father of the bride I made a short speech, part fun and part serious. I was able to say how delighted Julie and I are at the marriage of two talented and caring people that we love. I observed that “We celebrate marriage because it is a key moment in two people’s lives because it is an expression of total confidence of one person in another, and a public declaration of trust and commitment to each other – come what may. Marriage also joins together not just two people but two families as we become legally related. In law we have a new son. He is someone we appreciate and whose company we enjoy. And we have become friends with other members of Tristan’s family”

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Fifty kinds of love – Introduction

Young couple in love

Fifty kinds of love - introduction

Young couple in love

Fifty kinds of love is the longest poem in Poems about love.

It is full of ideas and observations – some serious, some appearing to be “just playing with words”. The strange thing is that in the jokey parts there are often things that you would recognise as true.
The poem is divided up into numerous topics. I’ll start with two in this posting  –  Young love and The highs and lows of love.

Young love

Love without a care.
Love without caution.
Love without commitment.
Love without a risk assessment.

The highs and lows of love

Love without a care.
Love in the fresh air.
Love where the grass is greener.
Love in pastures new.
Love where the air is cleaner.
Love where the sky is blue.

Love at the crossroads.

Love that’s an uphill struggle.
Love that’s on the way up!
Love on a mountain top.
Love on a slippery slope.
Love that’s downhill from now on.
Love that’s without hope,
though hope lingers on.

Love
that’s the end of the road.

Comments and questions welcomed
FACEBOOK LINK
Read all the poems
You can read all the poems in the book by buying or downloading it on Amazon. LINK.
If you get the book please give it a star rating. I’d love some feedback so I’d really welcome comments on the book.

More background and poems to follow in future blog articles.

Book cover, Poems about love
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The poem “Marriage” from “Poems about Love”

Wedding group Sicily

The poem “Marriage” - part two

Wedding group Sicily

A wedding group in Sicily, 2017

Here is the text of the poem, and the third of a series of comments on the ideas behind poems in Poems About Love.

Here I comment on the second part of the poem.

Marriage

When push comes to shove
marriage is not about love.

And a wedding
is not “the happy ending”.
It is the beginning
of a long journey
with a contract to travel for the rest of your life
with someone you hardly know
by a route and towards a destination
that no-one knows.

2004 and 1 January 2023

The stories behind the poems

Behind many poems in Poems about love lie events that set me thinking.

I discussed the opening of this poem in an earlier post.

Marriage – comment 2

Of course, every mature person knows that “a wedding is not the happy ending”.

Yet weddings are so often treated as an end-of-story event, the culmination of years of hope and striving, a glorious achievement to be celebrated with no expense spared, as if the wedding is the real life fairy tale come true and the beaming couple will “live together,happy ever after”.

Most marriages are of relatively young people (under 35?) with little experience of life. It struck me that the marriage commitment was the greatest undertaking two people might ever make in their lives, yet their knowledge of each other, the world, how they and the world might change in the future was very slight.

Weddings, therefore, are the beginnings of very risky enterprises.

So it surprises me that so many marriages can be described as happy or successful.

The poem raises the very important question of what does a happy marriage depend on in the face of so many unknowns?

Those marriages that are successful can’t put it all down to the common explanation that it was “luck”.

Although, having good health, having a good and reliable income, and living in a safe and prospering country – much of which is beyond personal control – is certainly a kind of luck that helps towards a happy marriage and a happy life.

What does it takes to make a marriage work? What is needed beyond a mutual attraction, mutual desire, “being in love”?

It would be interesting to compile a list of readers’ ideas.

One suggestion is that having a common interest is often a key factor, but in our village there is a woman, Bryony Hill, who was married to the famous football player and pundit, Jimmy Hill. She hated football. Her theory about their very happy relationship was that they got on so well together “because we were so different.”

I’d be interested to hear your view on this topic? You can comment either on facebook or my blog.
FACEBOOK LINK
Read all the poems
You can read all the poems in the book by buying or downloading it on Amazon. LINK.If you get the book please give it a star rating. I’d love some feedback so I’d really welcome comments on the book.

More comments and background and poems to follow in future blog articles.

Book cover, Poems about love
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The poem “Marriage” from “Poems about Love”

wedding couple going into water

The poem “Marriage” from “Poems about Love”

wedding couple going into water

Here is the text of the poem, and the first of a series of background infos and comments on the ideas behind poems in Poems about love  –  Where did the ideas for the poem come from? etc

Marriage

When push comes to shove
marriage is not about love.

And a wedding
is not “the happy ending”.
It is the beginning
of a long journey
with a contract to travel for the rest of your life
with someone you hardly know
by a route and towards a destination
that no-one knows.

2004 and 1 January 2023

The stories behind the poems

Behind many poems in Poems about love lie events that set me thinking.

Marriage is one example

In this case the key line is the second line that asserts “marriage is not about love”. This was actually a statement made to me by my father when I was a young teenager.
He was not, himself, an expert on the subject of marriage because it was very clear to us children that our parents were very unhappily married – living together but sad and far apart.

Nevertheless, he could see what other people were doing and maybe guess what it was that led to a marriage that was “happy” or “fulfilled” or “successful”.
I didn’t know, till many years after I left home that he had a relationship with another woman and that may have inspired his remark. She actually worked for him and with him.
He maintained that what was needed to make “a successful marriage” was an ability to work together.
Obviously marriage is much more than this but my experience suggests that it is a key ingredient.

I’d be interested to hear your view on this topic? Do let me know, either on facebook or my blog.
FACEBOOK LINK
Read all the poems
You can read all the poems in the book by buying or downloading it on Amazon. LINK.If you get the book please give it a star rating. I’d love some feedback so I’d really welcome comments on the book.

More comments and background and poems to follow in future blog articles.

Book cover, Poems about love