Behind many poems in Poems about love lie events that set me thinking.

I discussed the opening of this poem in an earlier post.

Marriage – comment 2

Of course, every mature person knows that “a wedding is not the happy ending”.

Yet weddings are so often treated as an end-of-story event, the culmination of years of hope and striving, a glorious achievement to be celebrated with no expense spared, as if the wedding is the real life fairy tale come true and the beaming couple will “live together,happy ever after”.

Most marriages are of relatively young people (under 35?) with little experience of life. It struck me that the marriage commitment was the greatest undertaking two people might ever make in their lives, yet their knowledge of each other, the world, how they and the world might change in the future was very slight.

Weddings, therefore, are the beginnings of very risky enterprises.

So it surprises me that so many marriages can be described as happy or successful.

The poem raises the very important question of what does a happy marriage depend on in the face of so many unknowns?

Those marriages that are successful can’t put it all down to the common explanation that it was “luck”.

Although, having good health, having a good and reliable income, and living in a safe and prospering country – much of which is beyond personal control – is certainly a kind of luck that helps towards a happy marriage and a happy life.

What does it takes to make a marriage work? What is needed beyond a mutual attraction, mutual desire, “being in love”?

It would be interesting to compile a list of readers’ ideas.

One suggestion is that having a common interest is often a key factor, but in our village there is a woman, Bryony Hill, who was married to the famous football player and pundit, Jimmy Hill. She hated football. Her theory about their very happy relationship was that they got on so well together “because we were so different.”

I’d be interested to hear your view on this topic? You can comment either on facebook or my blog.
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More comments and background and poems to follow in future blog articles.